My 30-day free trial of Amazon Prime (they keep offering me free trials, even after Iâ€™ve cancelled multiple times) gave me a chance to watch The Tomorrow War starring Chris Pratt, Yvonne Strahovski, and J. K. Simmons. Iâ€™m not going to say it was a total waste of 2+ hours, but it was mighty close.
Too long, didnâ€™t read: I would only recommend The Tomorrow War to people who love Chris Pratt and donâ€™t need their movies to make sense or have cool action scenes. If you just want Chris Pratt to be heroic, here you go. Thereâ€™re some great J. K. Simmons moments, and the acting is generally good, but the writing is horrible. I give this 2 xenomorphs way smarter than people out of 5. I watched this so you wouldnâ€™t have to.
Without spoiling too much, in The Tomorrow War, soldiers from the future come back to beg the modern worldâ€™s help to fight a war against aliens in the future which humanity is most definitely losing. A worldwide draft is instituted and Chris Prattâ€™s characterâ€”a former soldier and scientistâ€”is conscripted for his seven-day tour of duty.
Yes. Seven. Days.
And that is just the start of the problems with this movie. Without getting into spoilers, it fits six pounds of stupid into a five-pound bag. That might be a bit harshâ€”though only a bitâ€”but this movie is the ur-example of the idiot plot. This story only works if literally everybodyâ€”every. bodyâ€”is an idiot.
People say â€œjust turn off your brain and enjoy,â€ but the level of brain disconnect it would take for me to enjoy this movie would leave me comatose at best.Read More »The Tomorrow War, a review