Warning: if you don't know anything about Spider-man, don't read any further. There are spoilers here only for those that know nothing about the origin and history of Spider-man. I won't go into specific plot details or anything like that, but I am going to talk about those things that would be common knowledge to fans of comic books. And if you don't read any further, let me just give you one piece of advice.

Turn off the computer, put on your shoes, go to the theatre and . . .

See the damn movie!

Warning the Second: while most of my following profanities are done with symbols rather than the actual words, there is enough there to figure out exactly what kind of profanity I am using. If this bothers you, please don't read any further. Of course, if you do not read any further, please follow above advice. Sorry for the profanity, I'm just so da . . . arn excited

Now that I've got that off my chest.

Always got to love a visit from your friendly neighbour hood Spider-man! Especially when it's to the local movie theatre. Sam Raimi has just raised himself to deity status with all the Webhead fans out there. He has accomplished what only a handful of directors have done, and that is to make a truly great superhero movie. There have, in my mind, only been four great superhero movies in the past, and, in chronological order, those would be Superman, Superman II, Batman and the X-Men. Now there are five. Thank the living saint of comics, Stan Lee, for creating such a great character, and now all hail the newest of the great superhero directors, Sam Raimi.

The thing is, could you ask for a better director for a comic-book movie than Sam Raimi? I'd have to say no. I mean, look at his track record. You know he can do dark comedy (Evil Dead III: Army of Darkness), you know he can do superhero-style action (Darkman) and you know he can do really insightful and tense characterizations (A Simple Plan), so what more does one need? Apparently nothing, cause he kicked the butt right off of this one. Slam-dunk, homerun, hat trick, goddamn, super mother-f&#@ing movie!

Oh yeah, I loved this movie. I mean, I have never seen two hours plus go by so fast. Suddenly, there's Peter Parker--and Tobey Maguire is dead-on, super slick perfect for this role--and then way too soon it's the end. I mean, everything was there. Uncle Ben's death (and Cliff Robertson was great in that role), the realization about the thief, Norman Osborne, even Flash Thompson were all there, bigger than life. And, my oh my, Kirsten Dunst makes one sweet Mary Jane Watson. The chemistry between her and Peter/Tobey was great. It jumped out from that screen to grab at your heartstrings.

That's one of the powerful aspects of this movie. Not only does it deliver with the action--heart-pounding, armrest-grabbing, breath-holding, almost-need-a-pair-of-diapers-'cause-it's-so-crapping-exciting action--but it delivers with the emotions as well. Thank God we have actors with depth in this movie. There are real moments of anguish, real moments when even a tough guy's tears threaten to come. I ain't no tough guy, and I felt the moisture gather there more than once.

Is this the perfect movie? I'd have to say no. Not everything is grounded, and there are questions never answered. But none of those questions affect the enjoyment of the average movie-goer. Does is matter why everyone is so mean to Peter Parker? Absolutely not. They are. Accept it and move on. We don't have time for any more introspection than has already been injected into this movie.

However, this is a perfect superhero/comic book movie. Bryan Singer did absolutely amazing work with the X-Men, but that was an ensemble movie, and had certain deeper themes buried into it--just as the comic does. Spider-man is a different kind of movie. Spider-man isn't an anti-hero. He dresses in bright blue and red. He tends to swing about in broad daylight, and isn't as angst-ridden about his place in the world as he is about his inability to 'fess up his feeling to Mary Jane. And that's the beauty of Spider-man, both the movie and the comic. He's a regular guy with regular problems who just so happens to crawl on walls, spin webs any size, catch thieves just like flies and the rest.

There were very few liberties taken with the story. I'm not even going to bother to bring them up here. If you are so anal about such stuff that it actually bothers you, you don't deserve to have such a fabulous movie made about your favourite Webslinger. They are minor details within the wondrous canvas that Sam Raimi was able to create.

Overall, do yourself a favour and see this movie. It doesn't matter if you love comics or not. If you love good, well-rounded action/adventure movies that skimp on neither the action nor the characters, you'll piss yourself over this one. If you have prayed that the studios wouldn't screw up Spider-man like they screwed up the Punisher and Captain America (not to mention the Fantastic Four--whatever happened to that one?), your deity has answered. If you believe in fate, you'd say that Sam Raimi had been born to direct this movie, just as Stan Lee had been born to write the comic.

The stars are in alignment. All is right in the world. Yes Virginia, there is a Spider-man, and he kicks a whole $#@&-load of @$$.