Personal Failings: the Revealing

Gen Con proved to me that I’m still having issues with two of my personal—and linked—failings: my shyness and my attendant inability to sell my wares.

If you met me at Gen Con and I seemed a little distant or somehow removed, that’s not because I’m arrogant or anti-social, it’s because I am actually painfully shy. People who listen to the podcast likely have a hard time believing that. Actually, most of my friends have a hard time believing it. It’s something I’ve known about for as long as I can remember, and something I’ve attempted to address in my own way—usually by overcompensating. This Gen Con, though, reminded me that in uncertain social scenarios or when dealing with people I don’t know, I tend to withdraw.

Take the Media Meet & Greet on Saturday night, hosted by the Pulp Gamer podcast. At first, I hung back, talking to only people I knew, hovering in a safe area away from the main crowd. I made myself complete a circuit of the venue once, but didn’t really connect or greet anyone I didn’t already know.

Why am I telling you this? Just in case we met at Gen Con and I came off as arrogant or anti-social. Others in social situations sometimes perceive shy people in these ways. Trust me, I’m not arrogant—though I can play up to that if it will get a laugh—and also trust me that I did not mean to offend.

A corollary to this is that I find it really hard to pimp my own stuff. I can pimp other people’s stuff all day long. I’ll tell you why you need to play Old School Hack or buy Warhammer Fantasy RPG 3e. But when it comes to getting you to put down money for Sword Noir or Kiss My Axe, I suck. It’s part shyness, sure, but it’s also overweening humility that I can’t tell you how awesome my stuff is, and I certainly can’t push it on you.

Why am I telling you this? I still have a few copies of Kiss My Axe: the Quick and Dirty Gen Con Edition lying around. Now, the actual product is going to be a few weeks at the very least coming out, and likely longer due to the print proofing process, so if you are interested in Kiss My Axe, and are willing to do a review for your podcast, site, or blog, let me know and I’ll see about getting a copy to you.

Gen Con was awesome. Everyone was great. And I learned that maybe I haven’t overcome my personal issues as well as I had hoped. Fun and self-knowledge: that’s a win.

This is as good as I can get at pimping: please buy Sword Noir here.