You Sunk My Blockbuster!

From the world of “are you fucking kidding me?” comes the movie Battleship. Now, having a movie based on that particular game in and of itself is kind of a WTF decision, but in a recent article, we learn that the movie is going to be about “an alien invasion at sea.”

Whiskey. Tango. Fuckin’ Foxtrot?

Yes, because an intrinsic part of the success of the game Battleship was the alien menace that always seemed to consume one’s destroyer just before you called out “A-5!” Methinks some screenwriter spent too many days in the park, playing Battleship by himself, and watching the ants carry away the restaurant mints he used in place of the ship pieces he had lost.

And a $200 million budget? Or you kidding me?

Hey! Studio execs! Over here! Listen, don’t bitch to me about how piracy is ruining the industry when you pump $200 million into a shit-stupid project like this. Are you telling me there are not 4 other scripts out there that could all be made for $50 mil, that could make a profit? Because I got news for you—those $50 mil action scripts? In Hong Kong they’ll film them for $5 mil, and make a better movie, and make more money.

It’s not piracy that’s killing Hollywood, it’s Hollywood.

The article referenced above can be found here.

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