In the realm of “WTF?” we are getting three—yes, three—King Arthur movies in the future.
Actually, if you pretend it has nothing whatshowever to do with the King Arthur legend, that movie is a kind of a fun romp. I mean, Clive Owen, Ray Winstone and Ray Stevenson all together with weapons and armour and kicking all kinds of ass? Yeah, that’s a good popcorn movie. It’s a pretty cool D&D movie because—like the awesome the 13th Warrior—it is totally ahistorical in its presentation of the period: the technology, weapons, armour, and tactics.
But I digress. I tend to do that a lot.
Okay, so we have Bryan Singer directing a remake of John Boorman’s Excalibur, we have Sylvain White (he of the Losers) doing a movie about the formation of the Round Table, and now we apparently will have Guy Ritchie (riding high on Sherlock Holmes) directing a script penned by Warren “he’s Warren Fucking Ellis, bitch” Ellis.
King Arthur script penned by Warren “Planetary” Ellis? Now I need a new pair of pants. Direct by Guy “Snatch” Ritchie . . . hmmmm. Well, how about Guy “Sherlock Holmes” Ritchie? Now I need a new pair of pants and a tarp. Clean up on aisle 3!
As to Bryan Singer’s project: you’re going to remake Excalibur? Really? Because that is screaming for a remake, is it? There are those out there who will slag that movie. Maybe it’s because I was like 12 when I first saw it (boobies!). Maybe because it was my first exposure to Carmena Burana. Maybe because Nicol Williamson totally ruled as Merlin. Whatever the reason, I am a total fanboy for Excalibur. I love the movie. I refuse to accept it is flawed . . . maybe a little . . . shut up!
Considering that the King Arthur legend is totally public domain, why not just go with one’s own interpretation of the legend? I can’t honestly see any reason to “remake” Excalibur, when all it will really be is an interpretation of a legend that’s about 1500 years old.
And Sylvain White? Dude, if you do justice to the Losers, you get a free pass. Feel free to Fuqua it. I’ll still love you. Mess up with the Losers and you get a swift kick in the rhetorical junk.