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Someone Needs to Kill Paul W. S. Anderson . . .

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. . .’s career.

Not the person, of course. I would never condone homicide.

Still, Paul W. S. Anderson, complete moron behind such pieces of steaming crap as Alien vs. Predator, is tempting me. He’s now about to push a version of the Three Musketeers through his bowels and past his sphincter.

It was bad enough when Disney gave this classic a shot. At least their’s had the redoubtable Oliver Platt as Porthos. What will Paul “the Dumper” Anderson bring to the table? He’s making it more modern. Yes, because that’s what the classic needs.

Honestly, it can be done and done well—bringing a classic to the screen in modern-mode that is. I point to Richard III as an example. I also once saw an amazing production of Hamlet that had been moved forward closer to modern time with Brent Carver in the lead. But given Mr. Anderson’s body of work, “done well” doesn’t seem to be in his dictionary.

Maybe someone needs to buy him a new one.

And, honestly, after Richard Lester‘s the Three Musketeers and the Four Musketeers, further versions of the novel brought to screen should have been outlawed. If there is one strong argument for the New World Order and global government, stopping further screen versions of this classic is it.