Tag Archives: the Three Musketeers

Queen Margot

Last night, I gave my wife the choice of watching Funeral in Berlin or Queen Margot. When I said “spy movie,” I think she expected something a little more Bourne. By the time Palmer reached Berlin, she was already lost. … Continue reading

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Paul Anderson Ass Rapes the Three Musketeers

Fuck. You. Paul Anderson. Fuck. You. So, we have a synopsis for the new Three Musketeers movie. Up until now, I heard that it was going to be in 3D, which did not fill me with joy, but also did … Continue reading

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Why Monday Sucks #117

Something that is depressing? The Doug Liman adaptation of the Three Musketeers is dead. Something even more depressing? The Paul WS Anderson version is still a go. Sigh.

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Doing the ATM This Summer!

Because fate just wants to kick me in the junk, soon after reading that Hollywood has planted a big steaming dump on Allan Quatermain, it’s time for D’Artagnan and the boys to get their share. If you’ve been following along, … Continue reading

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Going ATM

The Hollywood Reporter feels it important to inform the world about Paul W. S. Anderson’s adaptation of the Three Musketeers. Of the two that are in the works (Anderson’s and Doug Liman’s), I’d go with Doug Liman’s. The thing is, … Continue reading

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Mr. & Mrs. Musketeers

Seems that along with Paul W. S. Anderson (this man is still directing? Won’t somebody please think of the children!??!), Doug Liman is onboard to direct an adaptation of the Three Musketeers. Variety is saying that this is going to … Continue reading

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The Men Who Stare At Musketeers

So it seems the newest incarnation of the Three Musketeers will fuse the producer of Sherlock Holmes with the writer of the Men Who Stare At Goats. At least that’s what Variety is saying. They wouldn’t lie to me, would … Continue reading

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Taking a 3-D Dump on a Classic

My apologies, this is about to get . . . florid. If foul language offends you, move along. Nothing to see here. 3-D Musketeers? By Paul W. S. Anderson? Couldn’t he just anally rape me then take me behind the … Continue reading

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Someone Needs to Kill Paul W. S. Anderson . . .

. . .’s career. Not the person, of course. I would never condone homicide. Still, Paul W. S. Anderson, complete moron behind such pieces of steaming crap as Alien vs. Predator, is tempting me. He’s now about to push a … Continue reading

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