Things are quiet, and I apologize for that. I’m working hard on Sword Noir, a game I’m designing subtitled “A Role-Playing Game of Hard-boiled Sword & Sorcery.” Don’t worry, I’ll let you know when it’s out.

I feel bad about letting Sword’s Edge take a hit due to my focus elsewhere. Just when I said to myself “I need to post something,” I find something that needs posting.

New Conan pictures! No, not the one with this post. The link to the pics is below.

You can see them at the Conan the Movie Blog, but I warn you, they are not safe for work or for children. It seems there will be bare breasts in this Conan movie, and a fair number of them, at least in the tavern scene shown in the photos.

The pics don’t do much for me, as I am already on board with Jason Momoa playing the character, but totally unimpressed with the story as revealed. Basically, this looks like it could be a fun sword & sorcery romp, but it doesn’t look like it’s going to be a Conan movie. That’s something I’ve said before, but I haven’t seen anything that would make me change my tune.

I can’t say I’m optimistic of this movie, though I will definitely see it (and possibly even buy it) once it comes out on DVD.

The pictures can be found here.

From the world of “are you fucking kidding me?” comes the movie Battleship. Now, having a movie based on that particular game in and of itself is kind of a WTF decision, but in a recent article, we learn that the movie is going to be about “an alien invasion at sea.”

Whiskey. Tango. Fuckin’ Foxtrot?

Yes, because an intrinsic part of the success of the game Battleship was the alien menace that always seemed to consume one’s destroyer just before you called out “A-5!” Methinks some screenwriter spent too many days in the park, playing Battleship by himself, and watching the ants carry away the restaurant mints he used in place of the ship pieces he had lost.

And a $200 million budget? Or you kidding me?

Hey! Studio execs! Over here! Listen, don’t bitch to me about how piracy is ruining the industry when you pump $200 million into a shit-stupid project like this. Are you telling me there are not 4 other scripts out there that could all be made for $50 mil, that could make a profit? Because I got news for you—those $50 mil action scripts? In Hong Kong they’ll film them for $5 mil, and make a better movie, and make more money.

It’s not piracy that’s killing Hollywood, it’s Hollywood.

The article referenced above can be found here.

Comic Book Movie has pics of the final design for Kilowog from the upcoming Martin Campbell/Ryan Reynolds Green Lantern movie. It looks pretty cool. The question is, will we have Gollum or Jar Jar? Gollum—for me—integrated seamlessly into the movie. I totally believed in his actual existence. Jar Jar was an obvious CGI addition to me.

It may have been the quality of the films more than the technology, I don’t know, but I really hope Kilowog (and any other alien GLs we get to see) are more Gollum than Jar Jar.

And even more than obvious CGI-ness, let’s hope he doesn’t resemble an offensive racial stereotype.

Yes, Jar Jar, I do mean you.

You can’t see the pic at Comic Book Movie, but it is still available at Screen Rant. For now.

It seems that John Woo may be back to form. Anyone who has seen the outstanding Red Cliff will know that Mr. Woo’s most recent movie is both astounding and from China. Woo left Hollywood, and I am very glad he did.

Now here’s news on another movie coming out of China, with John Woo as producer and co-director. This one looks like a period actioner, possibly wuxia, but I didn’t notice any wirework in the trailer. It’s called Reign of Assassins, and includes Michelle Yeoh (oh yeah!) and Jung Woo-Sung (the Good, the Bad, and the Weird). It looks pretty good.

Chances of me seeing it in theatre? Nil. Chances it’ll get wide release in Canada? Nil. Chance it might come to a repertory cinema near you? Hopefully high. I’ll definitely find this one and check it out.

The article from Twitch, including trailer, is here.

The IMDB page is here.

Edgar Wright is pretty much a golden boy. I haven’t seen Scott Pilgrim yet (and likely won’t until it hits DVD), but everything I’ve read about it make me think cool! So Mr. Wright talking some Ant-Man movie is pretty sweet.

Seems there’s a second draft of the script in the works, Wright has been a fan of Ant-Man for some time now, and he sees it as a “high-tech spy heist film” with a “bad-ass secret agent.”

Huh.

I was kind of hoping we’d get something like the Irredeemable Ant-Man, though I guess that is still possible, especially since Mr. Irredeemable (Ant-Man to his friends) is now on the Secret Avengers, doing black-ops type stuff.

I do think that if Wright does deliver an Ant-Man film, it’ll be hot. However, I prophesy that I probably won’t see it until it hits DVD—unless it’s released after the time that my second daughter hits kindergarten. That’s when I start to take my life back.

Maybe.

The Vanity Fair article with Edgar Wright can be found here.

Information on Ant-Man at Wikipedia, here.

And the Iredeemable one himself, Eric O’Grady, here.

If you like spy or special operations stuff, I think you’ll dig Hard Graft, a webcomic. I read a bunch of it over lunch, and I’m ordering the book.

Yes, I’m going to pay for a physical copy of something I read free over the internet. Why would I do that? So Peter Vine et al continue to put it out.

You can find Hard Graft here.

I don’t know how long it will be up but there is a trailer for Thor available on the Tubes.

I got wood.

My only complaint: too many car explosions.

And please, please don’t let Odin actually die. Anthony Hopkins as Odin (and the stuff he delivers in this trailer) is just too awesome to end here. Let it be a trick to force Thor into proving himself.

Also? The “Padme? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” scene (you know what I mean). A little irony sauce due to Padme being in the movie.

Still, overall? Me like. My optimisim just shot up an extra 100%.

Get it?

Son of a bitch, but does this not look cool?

Why yes. Yes it does.

The pic’s been out there for a bit, but I just wanted to throw in my 2 cents. Shocking, from someone who maintains a blog, eh? (Though I use the term “maintains” loosely these days)

I know there is at least one person out there who is going to see this and say: “He’s not big enough to play Thor.” That person does not read this blog, but if he did, I’d just have to tell him that on this topic—as on others—we’re going to have to agree to disagree, because this pic tells me that Chris Hemsworth is absolutely big enough to play Thor.

The costumes and sets that have been revealed seem to rub some people in the IntarSphere the wrong way. I have to admit to being somewhat unenthused, but it’s also hard to tell how it’ll look on the screen. The costumes for Hogan the Grim and Fandral the Dashing—seen in the throne room pic—are excellent.

My optimism and enthusiasm remain undimmed. I trust Kenneth Branagh more than any other director working today. Even if he delivers something less than a masterpiece, he is going to deliver something outstanding—see Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein for proof positive.

The MGM bankruptcy fiasco continues, as its creditors have provided it with a further extension, meaning the deadline for a resolution is now September 15th. This means that the deadline for a resolution on things like the Hobbit and the next Bond movie have also been pushed back.

Y’know, MGM has had a storied history and all, but if the thing needs to die, just let it die. The thing here is that it has a large back catalogue one which a lot of people want to get their hands.

But due to the delay, the Hobbit lost Guillermo del Toro, and may lose Ian McKellan. Who knows if Sam Mendes and Daniel Craig will be around to deliver the next Bond, as had been planned.

That, ladies and gentlemen, sucks.