Highlander is just not a movie that stands up. I loved this movie when I was in high school, and it became the font of all quotes in university, but even during the latter, I could see its failings. It was a good-bad movie. It had fuckin’ Sean Connery in it! How could it be that bad?

Well, it’s not that bad, it just isn’t that good. The premise, the ideas, even the plot all work in its favour. It is a fantastic conceit—that immortals walk among us and they can only be killed, like some zombies, by a head-ectomy, and that the dead immortal’s power then flows into the killer, assuming it’s another immortal.

There was some artistry evident. I had a particular fondness for some of the scene transitions. Certainly there were reasons I loved the movie as much as I did, even with all its failings. And I could watch it over and over again.

No longer.

The love is still there. It is still a must-have movie for me. I’m just not going to be watching it on a regular basis. The sword fights just simply aren’t that epic any longer (kind of like Obi-Wan and Darth Vader in Star Wars!). The villain is too simplistic. The hero too clear and clean—for a man who has watched so many die, who has seen so much, Nash/Macleod really doesn’t seem touched by any of it.

It doesn’t help that studios continued to try to make money out of it long after it had proven to be a fluke—though I do hear that the TV series had its moments, I watched the pilot and watched nothing more. Christopher Lambert was also an unfortunate choice to play the iconic Highlander. He does not have the dramatic weight to pull it off. He simply can’t deliver in those scenes in which Maclead is supposed to show how much the past has touched him.

I think I should have just let it sit in the back of my brain, as a memory. I knew, of course, that re-watching it would be folly. Still, sometimes one just simply must touch the burner to see if it really is hot.

Clancy Brown, however, remains awesome. I even forgive him for Pathfinder.

The Wikipedia page for Highlander can be found here.

Some of my thoughts on Highlander and gaming can be found here.

The word on the street is that Peter Jackson may end up directing the Hobbit. I have to admit I am ambivalent. I think Mr. Jackson’s achievements with the Lord of the Rings cannot be praised highly enough, though I have stated elsewhere my concerns with the actual adaptation. Given that, I wonder if perhaps Mr. Jackson might have more value as a producer than as a director.

This is the place where George Lucas should have remained. After Star Wars (the original, the one we now know as A New Hope), Mr. Lucas passed on both screenwriting and directing reins to others. He remained the idea man and the producer—the guy who got things done. He did the same for Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Oh, if he had only stayed right there.

I think Lucas’ greatest strengths are as a producer and as an idea man. If someone out there wants to argue the dude has chops with directing, I’ll listen, but I’m sorry I won’t be able to totally hide my amusement or stifle my sniggering.

Jackson might want to do the same thing. King Kong gave me ample justification for this opinion. In all honesty, there was a lot about LotR that hinted at the same.

If Peter Jackson does direct the Hobbit, I have a feeling he’ll do a far superior job to what George Lucas achieved as a director with “the Prequels,” but I believe there are other directors out there who might bring more to the table.

It’s not a done deal, so maybe something will change, but I have the feeling that Jackson will have an easier time finding funding and support if he takes on the mantle himself. It is, after all, a numbers game in Hollywood, and the only numbers that matter have dollar signs attached.

I can’t say I was a huge fan of Superman Returns, Bryan Singer’s much heralded helming of the attempted resuscitation of the Superman franchise. It wasn’t terrible, but it lacked something, both emotionally and intellectually. I can’t say any of the performances were bad, but none of them really got me.

Bryan Singer was much heralded because of the work he had done inside and outside of the superhero genre. The man behind the Usual Suspects and the first two X-Men movies had proved his chops both artistically and critically. Christohper Nolan is the same, and that’s who’s been linked to Superman now.

To be clear, though, it is Jonah Nolan, Christopher’s brother, who is the topic of Superman rumours, while Christopher is rumoured to be eyeing helming a Justice League movie.

Here’s where I stand: Richard Donner’s Superman was about as perfect as one can get as an adaptation. That movie did, in fact, make us believe a man could fly, but it also made believable characters out of Superman, Lois Lane and the lot. Superman II could have been the icing on that cake, and it was still an outstanding movie, but unfortunately, the controversy of who really directed the movie, and the inclusion of a lot of unnecessary slapstick kind of dents that one.

The less said about the other movies in that earlier incarnation of the franchise, the better.

Then along comes Bryan Singer, golden boy at that time, and the choirs sang. I was one of the people who was disappointed that he didn’t complete the X-Men trilogy, given that the ending of X-Men United hinted at the Phoenix Saga. I am not a huge fan of the Superman character, so seeing him move to that iconic property did not give me the tingles

Christopher Nolan has already re-engergized one franchise, that of Batman. He has done it with skill and artistry. Given that the Dark Knight was a self-contained storyline, I have no problem with Mr. Nolan moving on to a different DC property. As to his brother, word is (and IMDB agrees) that the Nolan brothers have collaborated on many of Christopher Nolan’s prestigious works, including Memento and the Prestige.

Now, being a good writer does not equal being a good director, but let’s see what he brings to the party. If this gives us a Justice League movie, I’m cool with it. Maybe DC is trying to steal a page from Marvel and build a team movie based on a group of solo movies. We’ve got Batman, Superman, and Green Lantern as movies, either completed or in the works. I’ve heard word of a Flash movie.

Maybe this will lead to something. I’m voting “cautiously optimistic.”

I’ve spouted off before about my mercenary philosophy for writing. I know that there are those out there on both sides of that arguement. That doesn’t matter, because this is my house, so I win.

BOO-YAH!

Here’s something you need to consider when you are looking to submit to that anthology that only offers $10 and a contributor’s copy (or two, if very generous)—this is a direct statement about the editor/publisher’s expectation for return. If they are only willing to pay $10 for the stories they publish, they don’t expect to sell too many copies. If they don’t have faith in themselves, why should you?

Oh, and, if you are willing to sell your stuff for $10, what does that say of your faith in yourself?

I am certain that there are many, many editors out there, just doing it for the love, wanting to share fiction in a genre that they love with others. I got two things to say about that.

1) An e-zine is free (or can be, because if you want to take over Sword’s Edge and make it a real e-zine again, you’re welcome to it), so if you are doing it for the love, do it for the love and for free.

2) The reason you aren’t doing it as an e-zine is because you want the satisfaction of having a printed copy in your hand. Which is fine, I understand that, but don’t expect me to subsidize your desire. Why don’t you go all out and actually pay professional rates, get professional stories, and publish something of which you can really be proud? Because that would cost too much? Again, don’t expect me to subsidize your desire and also please see 1).

Sorry, I just get really sick of seeing this bullshit and knowing people are still happy to submit to these markets (and these are people whose work really deserves pro rates . . . well, some of them).

If you are doing it for the love, I can get behind that, but then explain again why a free e-zine doesn’t do it for you.

Yes, that was a rant.

Yes, I am a dick.

Yes, you may go about your business now.

Back in early June, I wrote a series of tweets splicing coffee into Star Wars dialogue. For your edification and my amusement, I have collected those tweets I could find. They shall remain here for posterity and the further inflation of my ego.

You will note the ending sentence is a little repetitive.

Behold!

“The plans are not in this coffee.” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“This isn’t the coffee you’re looking for.” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“If you drink this coffee, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“This coffee is our last hope.” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“Oota doota, coffee?” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“The coffee is strong in this one.” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“That’s impossible, even for a coffee.” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“They’re so small, they are evading our grande coffees.” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“I was going to Tosche Station to pick up some coffee.” First, I’m kick your whiney, punk a$$. Then, I’m drinking it anyway.

“That’s no coffee.” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“You drank that coffee? You’re braver than I thought.” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“Great coffee kid. That was one in a million.” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and coffee.” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“Boring conversation anyway. Luke, we’re going to have coffee!” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“If this is a consular ship, where is the coffee?” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“I grow tired of asking this so it will be the last time. Where is the the coffee?” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“What good is a coffee if you ain’t around to use it?” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“Dangerous to your starfleet, Commander, not to this coffee. ” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“You know, I think that coffee we bought may have been stolen. ” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“The coffee you refer to will soon be back in our hands. ” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more coffee will slip through your fingers.” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“Where are you taking this . . . coffee?” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“Right now I feel like I could take on the whole coffee myself. ” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“You have controlled your fear. Now, release your coffee.” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“Difficult to see. Always in motion is the coffee.” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“There will be a substantial reward for the one who finds the coffee.” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

“I cannot teach him. The boy has no coffee.” Too bad, I’m drinking it anyway.

I’ve read a couple of articles recently about the death of print media. Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy, I say.

Here’s the thing: back in the day (pre-kidlets), I used to enjoy reading a newspaper on Saturdays, having coffee on the balcony. We had nothing pressing on Saturday mornings. Through the rest of the week, I’d go through the newspaper at work during break. That’s a total of 15 minutes. I often read all I needed to read. A lot of the big stories were CP or AP or Reuters. In those stories written for the paper (or, more likely, the corp that owned it), there was a dearth of considered analysis, and lots of sensationalism.

I’ve never been a big TV news watcher.

These days, I get all the news I need from Google News as an aggregator. When I want analysis, I have a selection of blogs–their biases known to me–for that. There’s even forums. The Senate forum on Circus Maximus gives me lots of opinion, lots of links to deeper analysis, and regularly I get the funny thrown in for free.

I’m sorry that the digital revolution has decided to bury newspapers much as it buried the tired distribution models for music and movies (though neither industry seems totally willing to accept that yet). The thing is, don’t come at me like this is some kind of cultural tragedy when the newspaper paradigm that had value–the one that believed the newspapers’ role was to deliver news–disappeared into the “business” paradigm, in which sensationalism sells, we want money, so lets go sensational!

Talk about hoist with their own petards.

I still have the internet and CBC Radio 1 to keep me informed and entertained. You had your chance, newspapers. I gave up on you long ago.

Author: Fraser Ronald

When one talks about fantasy role-playing games like Dungeons & Dragons, what often comes to mind are castles. Strangely enough, for most of the games in which I’ve played, and a lot of the fantasy that I write, cities are very important. Even when the campaign takes the characters into the uncharted wilds, or to the fringes of civilization, these campaigns often begin in large cities. I like it that way.

Cities have always had a mystique to them. Great powers had big cities–think Rome, think Constantinople, think Beijing. Those cities thrived on the lifeblood of empire, wealth and power. Wealth and power, in turn, draw people, be they merchants, craftsmen or simply labourers. As the population swelled, cities encountered problems not common to villages. Crime became a common complaint, and the stratification of society. Perhaps the two went hand in hand, I don’t know. It’s the crime and class angle that often leads me to set stories in cities. These easily lead to conflict and are good gardens for rebellious characters and outsiders. Cities also offer one a concentration of another great subject of conflict–politics.

For role-playing games, cities have another draw. Those services one commonly finds in fantasy role-playing games that one might not actually find in the Medieval countryside could be found in many large cities. Merchants to change large sums of coins or other objects of value to portable promissory notes could actually be found in a city. Large inns, rather than small public houses, existed in cities, as did establishments simply for eating and drinking, sometimes termed ordinaries but known today as bars and taverns. And what adventurer hasn’t found a job or fellow adventurers in the local tavern?

Read the rest

Author: J. Mijares

For those who haven’t seen the Jet Li movie HERO, there’s a brilliant sword fight between Li and Donny Yen. What makes it so unique is that half of the sword fight actually takes place in the minds of both opponents. They imagine the fight between them: each attack, each stroke, each parry, each anticipated counter-move is seen in their minds. Isn’t that the way we write? Our greatest action pieces have to be visualized in the mind first before they come to life on paper. But with something as specific as a sword fight, you have to know what you’re doing before you write in detail about it.

When I submitted my first short story to SwordsEdge.net, it involved a sword fight between a samurai and a demon. As I wrote it, I could feel every single move made by my hero. I stood in the middle of my living room with my own katana in hand – very similar to the one drawn in the accompanying artwork for the story – and I went over every move. I could feel the fatigue growing in his arms. I could feel the sword starting to get heavier and heavier. And every single swing and slice that he made, I could not only see it in my mind, but I could duplicate it in the real world.

One of the reasons that I could feel the fight in both mind and body is because I practice a form of Japanese Swordsmanship called Iai-Batto-Do. “Iai” and “Do” means “the way of the sword”. Iaido is the most common form of Japanese Swordsmanship, which emphasizes the drawing and returning of the sword to its scabbard. “Iai Batto Do” is a more combat oriented art which emphasizes not just drawing the sword correctly, but using it effectively once it’s out of the scabbard.

Read the rest