I saw the article about an unsold pilot for Lost in Space directed by John Woo, so I had to go check it out. Much like Blackjack (for the love of sanity, won’t somebody please think of the Woo-fans?), it not only failed to impress, it failed to hold my attention longer than 5 minutes. Total cardboard cut-out opening, with nothing to distinguish it.

Starring as the young Judy Jets . . . er Robinson was an actress whose name I had heard but knew nothing about. Adrienne Palicki.

And then it turns out she’s going to be the new Wonder Woman for the David E. Kelley NBC series.

Weird how these intersections work.

I can’t say that she looks the part of Wonder Woman, at least not to me. Wonder Woman is the product of a warrior society, and perhaps the finest warrior from that society. She is also a diplomat and a kind of royalty. That’s a pretty tough job. I honestly don’t know who I would want for the role—maybe Gina Torres—but Ms. Palicki certainly isn’t it. Maybe they’ve got her on a massive training regime that is going to buff her up before filming. Who knows.

Also? Everything I’ve read about the Wonder Woman TV series leads me to believe it should suffer the same fate as that Lost in Space revival—disappear for six years only to surface on YouTube—to no acclaim.

If you want to read about the John Woo Lost in Space project, go here.

If you want to read about the new Wonder Woman, go here.

I will not Google image search for you.

Another story is going in the “wait for an anthology?” bin. I’ve gotten some very nice comments and helpful advice from editors regarding “Fear of its Prey,” my only foray into horror/dark fantasy, but no offers. It’s likely because I don’t read the genre that I’ve failed in writing a story for it. The idea was essentially fantasy, but it kind of straddles the line, with fantasy elements and horror elements. It’s also very long for the modern market (7,320 words

In any case, apparently I didn’t do something well enough. I’ve carefully considered the comments of editors, but—of course—the wants and desires of one venue does not necessarily translate well to all venues.

If anyone wants the story, I’m looking for a minimum of 1.5 cents US per word. That’s about as low as I’ll go as I can publish it myself in some other format and get as much for it. Sorry, anthology and magazines that offer $25 or even $50 just aren’t worth it for me. I’m not saying they are bad or are ripping off authors, but I have a very mercenary viewpoint in regards to allowing others to publish my work, and $50 for over 7k words doesn’t interest me.

If you are interested, you can read the opening three paragraphs here.

Okay, so remember when Robert Rodriquez was going to direct Rose McGowan as Red Sonja? Yeah, that’s not going to happen. What is going to happen is apparently Simon West directing Red Sonja. That would be Simon “Con Air” West, though I would also have accepted Simon “Tomb Raider” West. Apparently, he’s been doing some TV stuff as well.

I liked Con Air and all, but it seems to have been an anomaly. I found Lara Croft: Tomb Raider pretty pedestrian, actually boring in parts. It totally failed to hold my interest, and that was even with Angelina Jolie in a tight shirt. He’s going to need to really up his game if he’s going to interest me in Red Sonja, which basically has the same assets as Lara Croft . . . well, that and it’s based on a sword & sorcery property that is tangentially linked to Conan.

And the young lady to play Red Sonja? Well, the producer wants Amber Heard, of whom I had not . . . heard. Sorry about that. Google image search tells me she’s an attractive enough young lady, but I don’t really see her as Red Sonja. She’d have to hit the gym a lot to make me believe she’s a warrior-woman.

So yet another “meh” response to big Hollywood news. Get yer shit together, Hollywood.

You can find my review of Lara Croft: Tomb Raider here.

Somewhere along the way, somebody apparently forgot the most important part of the Highlander mythos:

There can be only one.

Thankfully, we can ignore everything that came after, and I have a feeling I’ll be ignoring the next installment as well. This time, it’s not a sequel. Nope, this time they are going for a remake.

Written by the scribe who brought Twilight to the screen.

I shit you not. I wish I did, but I do not.

This is Hollywood, once again, thinking that everything is interchangeable. I mean, it’s young people that went to see Twilight, right? So if we get the same writer on Highlander, we’ll get more of the same. Simple.

Only not so much.

Okay, so Melissa Rosenberg has done much more than just Twilight, including co-producing Birds of Prey for TV and doing all sorts of stuff for Dexter. I haven’t seen any of those, but there’s lots of good buzz about Dexter, and I know enough to know it ain’t about sparkly vampires and such.

I have literally no hopes for this. It’s not that I don’t think Ms. Rosenberg can pull off a good script. I have absolutely no opinion about that one way or the other. It’s just that every single big screen attempt to make another Highlander has flopped. And, let’s face it, it’s not exactly a quality movie. It has its charms, and I thought it was awesome back in the day, but watching it now isn’t the same. It’s a great idea. It had its time. Let’s just leave it lie.

Seriously, Hollywood, have you got no fucking new ideas?

Well, see the poster for the new adaptation of the Killer. The poster has been revealed. Certainly simpled than most Hong Kong action movie posters from the late 80s.

The article at Collider can be found here.

What character could Alice Eve, Diane Krueger and Rosamund Pike be vying for in the new Superman movie? Well, apparently—and, of course, it’s all just rumours—it ain’t Lois Lane, though she is in the pic. Nope, this very attractive trio are vying for the role of Ursa, General Zod’s right hand.

I remember her very well from Superman II. I have no idea if she’s been in comics, cartoons, or other Superman properties since that movie. I don’t really follow Superman. However, the possibility of Ursa brings about the possibility of Zod, and we all know daddy likes his General Zod.

Of the three, I’d go for Alice Eve or Rosamund Pike. Diane Krueger as Helen was a very painful part of Troy. I’m not looking to see her again any time soon.

Now, bring on Zod. And for extra points, get Terence Stamp to play him again. That man is fukin’ Golden.

My previous Zod gushing here.

Some people simply say they are fans of John Woo. I can’t say that, because I have to admit that I am not. I am a fan of John Woo’s Hong Kong heroic bloodshed movies, his pre-Windtalkers Hollywood output, and his more recent historical work in China, meaning Red Cliff. That’s the part of John Woo’s oeuvre that I love.

And among all of that, the Killer holds a place of distinction. It was the first John Woo movie I ever saw, and it was the movie I used to get other people interested in John Woo. If you can stomach the melodrama, and you love the balletic violence, there’s more where that came from. It’s also a high-water mark, arguably along with Hard Boiled.

Now there’s going to be an English-language adaptation of the Killer. It doesn’t sound like a straight re-make, but darn close. Word is that Woo is producing, along with Terence Chang, so there’s a strong connection to the original. It’s going to be directed by Korea’s John H. Lee (who shares a given and surname with Chow Yun Fat’s character in the Replacement Killers, so that’s certainly less than six degrees), and starring Jung Woo-Sung (he of Musa the Warrior, the Good, the Bad, and the Weird and John H. Lee’s A Moment to Remember) in the Chow Yun Fat role.

It might be in 3D.

I wish I could be excited about this, but unless this is going to be shot in Korea, Hong Kong or China, without Hollywood representation, and unless fate smiles on it, I have a sense this is going to be a mess. Korea has had some very good action movies, but even when they try to mimic the HK heroic bloodshed style, it tends to be American-ized. If John H. Lee considers the action scenes from movies like the Good, the Bad, and the Weird, Old Boy, Nowhere to Hide, and A Bittersweet Life we might see something interesting.

Will it have the Killer’s impact? I doubt that. I doubt that very, very much.