Colour me just a bit too cynical at the moment.

Just off the heady critical success of Clash of the Titans—

Wait, let me try that again. I can do it with a straight face. Honest.

Damn it! Anyway, creatively bankrupt Hollywood is doing it again. This time, they are casting their epic level necromantic spells on Commando. What really worries me is that the article refers to the writer/director David Ayer’s “real-world spin.”

Um, you bring any—literally any—of the real world into Commando and you have flushed it down the toilet. Gravity, physics, anatomy—none of these things are relevant nor even exist in Commando unless Matrix wishes it to be so. Trying to make the movie more “realistic” is like saying you want to make Star Wars more “scientific.”

Fuck you.

However, if they cast Alyssa Milano in any major role, including villain and/or Matrix, I may watch it . . . late at night . . . alone . . .

I’ll be in my bunk.

Also, Deadline? The Navy doesn’t have soldiers. Those would be marines. The Navy has sailors. Even if he’s an ex-Navy SEAL, he’s still a sailor.